“Book Blurbs. Get Your Book Blurbs Here.”

— RECALLING THE IMPORTANCE OF ENTHRALLING FIRST IMPRESSIONS —

As e-book markets continue to soar (and physical stores continue to shutter), the author—you—has never had so many options for self-publication. But writer beware: there’s also crazy competition. Tread with care. The fact an act can be performed in seconds doesn’t mean it should be. Blurbs are like the pickup line that get you courting customers, so let us lend a hand and guarantee you’re in demand.

First things first, we’d better get our definitions arrow straight, as book blurbs are often confused with synopses—both in theory and practice.

Book Blurb: This is back cover copy meant to sell your book to buyers. Think “amazing appetizer.” Tantalizing stuff that doesn’t stand to spoil the meal.

Better yet, think “super sample.” Just a taste that’s meant to tease and promptly prompt a purchase.

Synopsis: This is a “tell-all” doc you send to agents and publishers. Think “futuristic freeze-dried fare.” A concentrated, vacuum-sealed encapsulation of your work delivering a wicked ten-course meal with every spoon’s worth.

(These can push you to the brink. Fed up? Then check this hyperlink. Don’t overthink. Don’t sink. Don’t stress. Put out an SOS.)

Why Book Blurbs Are Central to Sales

Truth be told, people do critique covers—and this process represents the most important judgment of all. No, a skin-deep assessment isn’t ideal, but people value their time, and if you want them to fork any over, you’ll need to present a powerful pitch.

In the digital bazaar, solid SEO and sharp syntax equate to a prominent stall and provocative voice. Nifty craftwork is (nearly) for naught if it’s stuck down a dim-lit alleyway and pushed by shaky voice reeds.

Yet, being your lifeblood, a blurb can’t be a nondescript description either—no matter how pretty the thing may be. No matter how keyword rich it is. Unless your name’s a household one, prospective buyers will still be wary . . . and truth be told, for good reason, too, for given the modern (uber) ease of huckstering pure balderdash, it’s no surprise that cyberspace’s muckheap’s ever on the wax. A simple outline just won’t do. To stand out from the million other merchants in your neighborhood—to win the trust, the time, and cash of readers—don’t be “fine” or “good.” You’ve truly gotta sell your work . . . or frankly, it won’t work.

Plenty of authors “blow up” online, but most of them self-destruct. Here’s why:

1. Unexciting Writing
We can fix that with author coaching.

2. Unpolished Prose

We can fix that too—with editing.

3. Unattractive Artwork

We can point you to our partners.

4. Unbelievably Bad Blurbs

Sure, that sounds a little harsh, but sadly it’s the truth.

• Many awesome authors think exciting writing, polished prose, and sexy art should be enough . . . but, bludgeoned by a bummer blurb, embittered bookworms bellow “bye” (not “buy”) and never try said stuff.
• It’s also all too common to believe that one’s proficiency extends beyond its proper brink. Yes, ice is ice, but know your rink. You may pull triple axels on the pages of a story, but cavorting through the hockey match of marketing will leave you sore. The game is gory. Leave it to professionals. (We live to score.)
• You’ve also got the penny-pinchers—those who’d like a bangin’ blurb but figure that they’ll save a buck by trying their respective luck. Frugality is laudable—applaudable. It really is. But sapient investments are the bedrock of a booming biz. If all one ever does is pinch, they’ll likely never move an inch, and anyway, our rates ensure that even Scrooge would scarcely flinch.
• A final point: mellifluence is insufficient in the end. You must account for more than rhythm—viz., the dreaded algorithm. If a blurb is not superb, some browsers may be scared away, but if the SEO is bunk, that blurb won’t see the light of day. So though it may not top your list of things to do, we’re telling you: perfecting keywords is, no doubt, the key to breaking out.

What We Bring to the (Writing) Table

• Luscious language
• SEO designed to reap your due exposure
• Author bio and tagline (FREE)
• Unlimited revisions
• Peerless pricing
• Premium quality
• Fun

Your book blurb is, in just one word, foundational, as all agree. It better be entirely sensational—our specialty. So save yourself the needless stress of working more and getting less. Prepare to meet the press. Ensnare a specter with esprit.        

— EDITING —
— BOOK BLURBS —
— QUERIES —
— SYNOPSES —
— AUTHOR COACHING —
— GHOSTWRITING —