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A Solid Case for the Disembodied

— WHY WE OUGHT TO CELEBRATE (NOT DENEGRATE) THE GHOSTWRITER  

 

Let’s face it: ghostwriting gets a bad rap, and it isn’t difficult to wrap your head around why. The process is shrouded in secrecy, undertaken to “trick” others, and carried out by an actual ghost. This last point is a big one too. Would such negativity surround the service if it were rebranded as unicornwriting, for instance? Placing undue emphasis on nomenclature: human nature. Thus, your knee may tend to jerk, so let us here defend our work. It just might save your neck.

Consideration A: The Sundry Ways to Gain from Ghostwriting

Why should a good story go to the wayside just because its conceiver isn’t positioned to pen it? The prettiest prose won’t make up for an absent idea, and a creative concept can’t support itself without style either. Rectangular or not, the best books are well-rounded, and sometimes you need a yin to your yang. Should we look down on Sir Elton John because he didn’t write most of his own lyrics? Or should we look up to him as a vocalist, composer, and knight (in shining sunglasses)? Honestly acknowledging one’s greatest strengths and weaknesses is tantamount to triumph.

  • Pressed for time? Ubiquity is possible through ghostwriting.
  • English not your native language? Reach a wider audience, and learn along the way.
  • Education in your bones? With customized materials, you’ll teach like never before.
  • Care to flip the literal script? We’ll make your screenplay into a book or book into a screenplay.
  • Visual art your stronger suit? Photography collections, graphics novels, early reader books: they’re all on the (coffee) table.
  • Care to give the greatest gift? We put together family records, made-to-order children’s tales, and even spousal stories.
  • Want to be immortalized? Our specters have your six. They’ll fix you up with a brilliant biography.
  • Need instruction? Nothing’s more informative than watching as we work our mirthful magic.

Perhaps you’ve borne the brunt of the workload, having already written your book and sprung for proper editing. It’s ready to go, but where is that? Perplexed by the (crucial) process of selling? Our ghosts know all the ins and outs. We write exquisite query letters, book blurbs, and synopses.

Many believe that ghostwriting only pertains to publication, but its true applications are far broader. Make the most of a goodly ghost. The options are eternal:

  • Website content (landing pages, articles, and merch descriptions)
  • Marketing (traditional and online advertisement copy)
  • Captivating dialogue for video and theater projects
  • Product elevator pitches (anything from apps to schnapps)
  • Petitions, speeches, and presentations
  • Killer crowdfunding supplications
  • Social media exclamations
  • Celebrations—and much, much more . . .

If you can dream (a part of) it, we’ll see it through the door . . . or wall. You’ve got the concept, heart, and wit. You needn’t do it all.

Consideration B: The Fact That Ghosts Can Make Good Friends

Due to the service’s shadowy arrangement, it’s easy to forget that ghostwriting involves a highly personal relationship between client and co-creator. We’re not the first to liken art-making to baby-making, but in this case, the analogy works even better, as both partners contribute their own “DNA.” If this all sounds like an unholy union, you’re still failing to account for the friendship factor. Sure, it’s a kind of surrogacy, but healthy communication and emotional support are no less important. Nothing makes us happier than hearing we really delivered.

Elsewhere? Beware . . . or else. There are plenty of reckless wraiths and greedy ghouls swirling about cyberspace. Performed correctly, however—right here—a ghostwriting project is intimate, entailing more than a fleeting meeting back behind an industrial dumpster.

No, we’ll not just take your notes and tell you that you’ll hear from us. We’ll keep you abreast of where we’re at and do our best to far surpass your every expectation.

Consideration C: The Lack of Moral Ambiguity

We all agree that legal representation is a human right, yet lawyers remain the target of untold hostility. We demand clean teeth but detest dentists, buy tabloids while denouncing the paparazzi, and generally assume that all salespeople are scoundrels. Clearly, man is quick to convict, however opaque the “proof” may be, so let us take a truly neutral gander at the ethical dimensions of this ghostwriting business.

Every Specter Services assignment is predicated on an ironclad contract (known for its brevity and big print), which states that the finished product is 100 percent your intellectual property (forevermore), regardless of its performance. Under no circumstances may a ghost make subsequent claims to the work, demand further compensation, or rescind the service agreement’s confidentiality clause. It’s a formal exchange carried out between consenting adults and perfectly lawful from every angle. Were it any more above board, it might just reach the rafters.

The guy who wallpapers your house won’t lose sleep wondering whether you’re telling the neighbors that you did it yourself—but would you anyway? Few are out to dupe family and friends. Those who make use of ghostwriting are simply ensuring that great goods come to fruition so they can be shared with the world. And contented consumers don’t concern themselves with the details of how a product was assembled.

To keep our own conscience clear, we don’t do coursework—or anything else that a prospective client is expressly forbidden from outsourcing. Furthermore, we won’t touch stuff like ransom notes or manifestos advocating genocide, so bad guys need not apply.

In the end, you’ll need to heed your inner voice to make the choice. But nothing’s wrong with teaming up to bring a barrier down.

Consideration D: The Planet Stands to Be Improved

Sure, it’s interesting to watch a busker play four instruments at once, but in most cases, a full band is better, so unstrap that backpack bass drum, ditch the harmonica holder, and do away with your knee cymbals. Overwork may earn some applause, but smart work can fill a stadium.

Think of it this way: most artists and intellectuals haul around a huge sack of seeds they never get around to planting. Certainly seems like a shame to us. Imagine the gorgeous gardens we’d have if half of those babies were scattered instead.

Maybe you can’t quit your day job to pursue a writing career just yet. (Invention and duty are often at odds.) Maybe you’re a writer with too much on your plate. (Not an exception but, rather, the rule.) Maybe wordsmithery eludes you altogether. (Some would call it wizardry.) Whatever the case, you have a vision, and ghostwriting is a wonderful way to bring that vision into focus, into play, and into existence.

Don’t just let your thoughts accrue. First, dare to dream, then dare to do. We’ll seize the day together.

 

— EDITING —
— BOOK BLURBS —
— QUERIES —
— SYNOPSES —
— AUTHOR COACHING —
— GHOSTWRITING —

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